 |
 |
| |
 |
|
|
2010-01-20 |
|
|
Quiz It Like Tae Bo - 20/1/10 |
|
|
By: T-Bo |
|
|
Hey hombres!
How's your week been? Well mine's been fucking hot - sure, some of it was my own fault, but I can't take full credit for 43 degrees. The nights are so ridiculous your dreams turn into a blend of Monty Python animations and those eighties music videos which consist entirely of hallways full of blue light and billowing curtains...then you wake up at 10am, late for work, muscles stiff from dehydration and lips still mumbling an Icehouse classic...it's ugly. Not SuBo ugly but still quite bad. On the other hand: Hot pants.
But enough about how awesome I am, let's dive right into last week's answers, shalls we? We shalls!
-The world's strongest beer is currently brewed in the good old U of K, is 32% alcohol and called Tactical Nuclear Penguin, for reasons which presumably make sense when you drink it. Tim gets a point for being closest alcoholically, and Ben G gets a point for being closest geographically.
-Double dipping, according to an article in the West Australian, really IS that bad. Food science students at Clemson University found that 3 to 6 double dips in the same bowl transfers about 10,000 bacteria into it. Thick stuff like hummus is less iffy than sloppy stuff like salsa. Professor Dawson (there's a thought for you) said it's basically like "kissing everyone at the party". Sadly he doesn't go on to say how much double dipping you need to do to FUCK everyone at the party; I assume you can't do it with rice crackers.
-In 2002, ABBA were offered US $1 billion to reform. For the maths-averse, that's a total of $250 million per member. ABBA turned it down - when you think about it they actually don't need the money. Wow. I hope there were no rappers around when that happened. A point to Ben G for being closest...
...which makes Mr. Gillies the winner for this week. Nicely played sir; enjoy your Golden Taxpayer Bailout Cheque and all the love it buys you. The Esteemed Panel, though impressed with all entrants this week, gave the Best Reply Nod to the newest contestant, Baron Von Reason, for his work here:
Which country makes officially the World's Strongest Beer, and what percentage of alcohol does it have?
'Land of Reason'. It's so strong that if you even look at it you are simultaneously homeless and pregnant.
Righto, let's pull the rickety lever and get that creaking turntable of prize tomfoolery rotatin'...
Silver:
The totally awesomest hat you can imagine. (You just imagined something really odd, didn't you? I bet it was a top hat with a giant peacock feather...and beer cans)
Gold:
Your very own nationwide junk mail printing and delivery service! Destroy the earth's forests in order to make a bundle of cash from supermarket chains, OR annoy everyone in the entire country with badly-spelled home-made articles assembled in Microsoft Paint e.g. "I Just Don't Like The Hebes (It's Nothing Personal)", "What's Going On With Pop Music Today???" or "Who Reckons That Shaun Micallef Should Get A Better Show Than That One He's On Now...Fuck...I Can't Remember What It's Called...Oh You Know The Fucking One I Mean...That Shitty Game Show One With That Other Guy Who Was On That Thing"
And now, Marjorie, the questions, please, if you'd be so luvverly...
1.
Would you rather have a fantastic sense of humour, or epic taste in music (as opposed to both, as we all have right now of course), and why?
2.
What are the three biggest mistakes characters always make in horror movies:
-
-
-
3.
Real Question One:
Which device does Ronald Katz, the individual who has made the most money of all time from simply holding a patent, hold the patent to?
4.
Please produce a rhyming slogan better than Johnson & Johnson's new one, "Miles more smiles"...
5.
You start going out with a girl who is totally smoking hot - I mean 'Rosario Dawson multiplied by Megan Fox but with bigger cans' hot - but after about the third time you've done the old horizontal folk dance, you come to realise that she is basically sociopathic, e.g. totally conscience-free and incapable of forming any meaningful emotional relationship with another living creature. On the other hand, she's clearly attracted to you at a physical level and is all class in the boudoir. How many more times do you see her?
6.
Real Question Two:
The video game Call Of Duty 2: Modern Warfare broke all records when it made how much cash in the first 24 hours of sales?
7.
What's your favourite line from a fucking terrible song? (OK I'll go first...um...that bit in the Friends theme song that says: "It hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year," has been stuck in my head for about a decade...perhaps proving its own point...)
8.
Is boob size the female version of dick size?
9.
What's a good example of the line where the noble quest for self-awareness becomes completely onanistic self-obsession?
10.
Real Question Three:
How many bands can you name who do, or have, in the past, done their own cover art? (not counting demo tapes, garage CDs etc)
And the tie-breaker...
Tell the top 5 things women still haven't figured out...
(I vote for:
1- That when they get onto a stationary train or bus, the next thing that will happen is that it will move suddenly,
2- That you shouldn't sprint straight into the dunny after a guy just left it,
3- That male genitals are not indestructible,
4- That pointlessly competing with other women basically stops them running the world and, if they could even just stop worrying about being called sluts - whatever that even fucking MEANS - by those same other women, then they could basically bring down patriarchal society as we know it in about a month,
5- That things created by gay men (musicals, romantic comedies, Sex & The City, Gwyneth Paltrow) do not tend to serve as particularly good models of heterosexual behaviour as we know it on the planet earth. But I could be wrong.)
1-
2-
3-
4-
5-
Thanks for playing, have a good one!
Tom |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
